Sunday 20 November 2011

Undead


(Based on a true story)

They stood backstage.
They stood in darkness, waiting for their turn in the spotlight.
They were terrified.

They weren’t scared of being onstage, they were enthusiastic 16 year olds.
They were scared of the shadowy figure in the corner.

Shadowy, yet strangely pale.
Strangely pale and lit by an eerie blue light.
Strange muffled sounds emanated from it at random intervals.

It was their teacher.
Their young, burgundy-haired teacher with a fair complexion.
Fair complexion on a good day, in the sunlight.
Now they suspected she was undead. Either Dracula or a genetically-modified-virus-caused-zombie.

The eerie light that lit her undead face was her Nokia.
The blue was Facebook.

They couldn’t see her Nokia in the inky darkness.
Just her face.
Her pale, mysteriously lit, blue, undead face.

The odd muffled sounds were suppressed giggles.
They thought she was having fits.
Evil, devious, undead fits.

She giggled at the amusing things her friend was saying.
Oddly they described this situation exactly.
“They must be terrified of you,” he said.
She giggled.
They cringed.
They did not know how this would end.

Suddenly she was before them, her glasses glinting in the phone light.
They hadn’t seen her move.

She came up close, so close that they could see the evil in her eyes.
She whispered hoarsely, “its time”
A few of them fainted.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the next act is slightly delayed for technical reasons.”

Monday 14 November 2011

She Makes It Seem So Simple


Conversation with a five year old:

Annaika:
Why were you on the phone for so long? Who were you talking to?

Me:
My friend Nicole from Bombay. She’s getting married soon.

Annaika:
So she is older than you?

Me:
No she is my age.

Annaika:
So you are also getting married.

Me:
No. No. I’m not getting married.

Annaika:
Why not? You’re OLD!

Me:
I’m not old!

Annaika:
Yes you are!

Me:
And I don’t know anyone to get married to.

Annaika:
You don’t know any girls?

Me:
I know many girls.

Annaika:
So why don’t you marry them?

Me:
Do you know any boys?

Annaika:
Yeah I know many boys. There's Vishal and ……

Me:
So why don’t you marry one of them?

Annaika:
I’m not old enough silly!

Me:
So when you grow up. Who will you marry?

Annaika:
I don’t know. One of them.

Me:
And how will you choose who you’re going to marry?

Annaika:
I’ll do Eenie Meenie Minie Mo, Silly!