He ordered pineapple juice.
She ordered plum.
They stood there talking as people passed by.
Suddenly they heard a voice scream:
“NOO! NOT MY AUNTIES! TAKE ME INSTEAD PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY AUN….”
…*GNNnnGNNnnn* went the mixer.
“AARGH! NOOO! WHY GOD WHY?!” screamed, what they quickly realized to be a plum.
The plum was quickly silenced.
The fork was aimed well.
“Oops! Forgot to sedate that one.” said the juice-walla.
They were horrified.
They had never been acquainted with the fruit slaughter industry.
Realization struck.
Everyday they took lives, broke up families, and possibly destroyed entire cultures of fruit.
A girl walked up to the juice stand.
She ordered grape.
“Nooo!” screamed Kay. “Think of the massacre! The bloodshed! The ethnic cleansing!”
The girl raised an eyebrow.
She took a minute.
It was a false eyebrow.
And it was shaped like a unicorn.
“Oh! My! God!” said Kay. “I absolutely LOVE your eyebrow!”
She was easily distracted.
“Where did you get it?” she continued, completely oblivious to the ongoing deaths of a family of grapes.
“Oh there’s this place called ‘UNIBROW- Eyebrows for men and women’.”
It was at that moment that an un-sedated grape ran past and jumped off the counter.
“AAH!” Gasped Kay and M. as the suicidal grape fell to its death.
They were the only two people who saw what followed.
The girl at the counter had begun singing to herself about princesses…. and bear hugs.
Everyone else was watching her.
Some appalled, some amused, one very, very afraid. Spot the princess.
The fall should have killed it, as it had killed many men that size.
But the grape possessed some remarkable survival qualities.
It was round and squishy.
It bounced, rolled and ran (or continued rolling) for freedom screaming, “I will avenge you my aunties!”
They sighed with relief.
The juice-walla shivered with fear. There is nothing scarier than a vengeful grape.
Their relief was short lived.
Down came the shoe.
“AAH!” gasped the grape.
“AAH!” gasped Kay and M. as the grape’s life flashed before their eyes.
They were very empathetic people.
“AHA!” rejoiced the juice-walla.
The grape rolled.
The shoe descended.
The grape was slow.
The shoe caught upon his backside.
“AH!” they screamed in horror.
“AHA!” rejoiced the juice-walla yet again. He had no shame.
With a pop so small that nobody heard it, the grape shot out of its skin and zoomed away to freedom.
They were a little relieved, but still a little horrified. There was a skinless streaking grape before them.
They watched as it reached the safe zone.
Shoe.
Squish.
Mess on the floor.
It happened so fast.
They would never be the same again.
Neither would the grape.
The juice walla threw a party.
The incident changed their lives. They went to become the two people who single handedly exposed the fruit slaughter industry to the world and initiated the Free All Fruit revolution (or FAF). Today they travel the world telling the story of “The Grape That Lived…..For a While.”
They have conducted rallies and hold protests outside orchards and salad bars, fighting for the rights of fruit and promoting the more traditional (and caring) diet of carnivorism.
Their signs often read:
“Fruit are our Friends!”
“Be Humane. Eat Meat!”
“Say No To Fruitcake”
The last one tends to be misunderstood.
Their efforts have not gone unnoticed. They have succeeded in convincing me to eat steak for the rest of my life. For the betterment of the world I am willing to make this sacrifice.
Amazing... :)
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