Saturday, 10 November 2012

Sheep: Fences and Beyond


The sheep jumped the fence.
He watched.
One

Another sheep jumped the fence.
He watched.
Two

A third sheep jumped the fence.
Three
Is it some sort of game?

Four
Where are they going?

Five
What is so important on the other side?

Six
Is it some sort of sheepish function?

Seven
Is there enough space there for them all?

An eighth sheep jumped.
He watched the seventh sheep.
I believe the word is gambolling.

Nine
The seventh sheep jumped another fence.
Two
This sheep is definitely going places.

The sheep jumped a third fence.
Three
This is a sheep with purpose.

Four
That’s a lot of fences.

Five
Those are very small plots.

Six
Who builds that many fences?

Seven
Must have been divided between many children.

Eight
That’s an energetic sheep.

Nine
It’s like a frog.

Ten
It’s almost like a bird.

Eleven
The sheep took flight.
It’s SuperSheep!

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen…. FENCES!

There are no boundaries for SuperSheep.

SuperSheep has wool of steel…. STEEL WOOL!

He’s a giant ball of fluffiness zooming through the sky.

He’s like a cloud.
A very fast cloud.
A very fast cloud with a head and legs.

A cloud that says baa.
A baa that can cause earthquakes and make ewes swoon.
“I love you SuperSheep!” “Save me, SuperSheep!” they call.
“Save me from evil, from danger, from endless days of loneliness… and so on and so forth.” they cry.

SuperSheep is on a mission.
A mission to save Lois Lamb from the clutches of Less Wooler, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Less Wooler did not do his research properly. Less Wooler wears horrible cardigans.

SuperSheep is on a mission.
DUN dun dun DA dun dun. DUN dun dun DA dun dun.

SuperSheep is confronted with a gigantic hedge. It spreads as far and high as the eye can see.
It is no match for SuperSheep.
It was a long flight.
SuperSheep has a super appetite.
SuperSheep ate through the hedge.
Nomnomnomnomnom.
Tasty hedge.

SuperSheep had several ideas for recipes involving a hedge motif.
He will make Lois Lamb an exotic dinner and impress her with his ingenuity.

IF SHE SURVIVES!
DUNDUNDUN!
He must save her!

What if he is too late?
Will he never again hold her in his awkward, handless embrace?

He fondly remembers the time that he flew her to…
Focus SuperSheep!

SuperSheep might be super, but he has the brains of a sheep.
He is like a very fast fluffy cloud with a head, legs, a baa that can cause earthquakes and make ewes swoon, and a very daft expression.

SuperSheep zooms towards the sound of his beloved Lois Lamb baaing in fear.
She is terrified as Less Wooler has threatened to use her wool to make more horrible cardigans.
Why cardigans?

Then if time permits she might even be subjected to the pendulum.
Lois Lamb is afraid of becoming Lois Lamb-chops.

SuperSheep is on his way Lois Lamb!
SuperSheep is confronted by two crooks.
“You will never get past me,” Said the first crook.
The first crook was a tall hulking lump.

The second crook said nothing.
The second crook was a stick with a curved end.
It was brandished by the first crook. It did not like being treated that way, but it suffered in silence.

SuperSheep recoiled in shock.
Crooks were his weakness.
Not the tall hulking lumps, but the sticks with curved ends.

The crook used the crook to catch SuperSheep.
SuperSheep broke the crook and proceeded to beat up the other one.
These were not SuperCrooks.
The first was a mere human. The second was not made of muttonite.

SuperSheep has reached Lois Lamb.
Lois Lamb is hysterical.
She is about to become Lois Lamb-chops and a horrible cardigan.
Oh the insanity!

SuperSheep calms Lois Lamb by distracting her with some straw.
For some reason it is in a flamboyantly pink drink.
SuperSheep had taken a course once.
It is very efficient.
Lois Lamb’s brain is also that of a sheep.
“Oh no!  The pendulum! The cardigan! ... Ooooh pink!”

Lois Lamb has stopped struggling.
SuperSheep unties her and whisks her away from danger.

Less Wooler has an evil plan to destroy SuperSheep with muttonite, using Lois Lamb as bait.
However, he is currently distracted, his cardigan being rather itchy at the moment.

SuperSheep and Lois Lamb escape into the night.
The villain’s lair, like all self respecting lairs, recognised the presence of a superhero and self-destructed, a tad bit too late.
It is a widespread depressive condition. Evil Psychologists are working on a cure and spreading awareness in the hopes that someone might recognise a depressed lair and take timely action.

Lois Lamb is terrified of plunging to her death.
Sheep were not made to carry other sheep.
SuperSheep tries to distract her with plans for a romantic, exotic dinner involving a hedge motif.
This does not help much. Plunging is at hand.



The man continues to attempt to sleep as he watches and listens while past his window zooms terrified bleats, unconventional recipes and many, many other adventures that will soon fade into the night.

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