The Anomaly

Throughout our world there are anomalies that occur with frightening regularity. These anomalies come into existence for a variety of reasons, from the alignment of the planets to the death of 3 butterflies and a shark.

--Said shark consumed said butterflies. One of said butterflies carried alien virus yet undiscovered by man. Said shark and said butterflies through function of said alien virus fuse to form the sharkfly. The sharkfly, needless to say, is one of these anomalies.—

These anomalies often have strange characteristics that are considered alien to our homeworld or characteristics not alien but combined in unusual, baffling and admittedly imaginative ways.

--Said sharkfly for example is, as the name suggests, a butterfly winged shark. It terrorizes both the seas and the sky. Its basic instinct is to hunt fish and pollinate flowers.

Some may say that pollinating flowers is not really that terrorizing. Those people have not seen a flying shark attempt to pollinate flowers.

However even more terrifying is the fact that the sharkfly has a tendency to become confused, after which it begins to hunt flowers and pollinate fish.

Many are of the opinion that hunting flowers is also not really terrifying behavior until they finally see a sharkfly hiding in the grass. They watch in horror at the dorsal fin of the sharkfly moving swiftly through the grass as it creeps up behind the unsuspecting flower.  Suddenly, before the flower has any time to react and try to save itself by running away, the sharkfly leaps through the air and devours the flower in one swift chomp of its jaw. The few who have witnessed such an event testify that it is a gruesome and bloody sight.

The fish are swimming about in a panic screaming, "Oh My God! It's a sharkfly! AND HE"S CONFUSED!"--

Often these anomalies are the cause of other anomalies.

--On approach of said confused sharkfly an entire school of fish once died of fear.

If he hadn't been confused they would have fled for their lives. But he was. So we can understand.

These synchronized deaths somehow lead to the existence of the 'Shoal of Souls', a mass of fish spirits roaming the seas and acting of one mind. The only effect that this 'Shoal of Souls' has on their surroundings is to annoy hungry predators.--

As we can see these phenomena can range from the dangerous and frightening to the beautiful and exciting to the banal and frustrating. Some are just strange and hold no concern for anyone.

--At random intervals a talking potato pops into existence somewhere in the world. Sadly this tends to be on a chopping board and before it can say anything it finds itself in many little pieces.--

These anomalies need not necessarily be alive but can be inanimate objects or food. (Food being a separate existential category in itself.)

--e.g. The alignment of the moon, Saturn and a food fight created the floating custard pie of Venezuela.—

One important thing to note is the fact that these anomalies never turn out as expected. The same anomaly may not necessarily emerge from the same elements.

--A controlled experiment attempted to recreate a sharkfly. (Said virus was eventually found.) The experiment failed.

The resulting outcome of three butterflies, a shark and an alien-virus-finally-discovered-by-man was the buttershark.

The buttershark was a shark in all aspects. However there was one and only one difference.

It's flamboyant coloring.

This was the downfall of the buttershark. For though it was the most ferocious shark ever to have lived, its ferocity was undermined by its flamboyance. The other sharks made fun of him and called him names. We can guess what these were. Hint: They questioned his sexuality.

This buttershark would have learned to live with this as he realized it was not as bad as being a confused sharkfly. However other fish, i.e. prey, could spot him from a mile away and fled before he arrived or they just laughed at him.

He died of shame and starvation.--

Though they exist all around us most of us are unaware of these phenomena. Very few of us are that fortunate, or unfortunate.

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It was a hot summer's night. One that was very conducive for evolution. Therefore it was inevitable that something would evolve.

Poorna slaved away in the kitchen creating delicious goodies to entice the taste buds. Chocolate was her not so secret ingredient.

This time she decided she would make her own chocolate, from scratch.

As she toiled she sang a song to help in the making.

"I like them Big! I like them Chunky! I like them…." She sang.

A little inappropriate, agreed, but you can't question the mojo.

She was so engrossed in her work that she didn't notice a custard pie float by her kitchen window. It was chased by a pervish leprechaun.

Thus Poorna created chocolate and she saw that it was good.

The first day.

That night while the household slept, something interesting took place in the fridge.

The chocolate evolved. (like, duh, you so should have seen that coming)

Poorna had inadvertently created a chocolate monster. True to her predictions it was big and chunky.

It escaped from the fridge by passing over some grapes a watermelon and an unopened fortune cookie that said "You shall create life." It passed over a second unopened fortune cookie that said "You shall be in for a sweet surprise" and then another one that said "The hands of the King are the hands of a healer."

It exited through the kitchen window and crept down the side of the building. It could do this as being chocolate it was…………..sticky.

It spent the next month roaming about the city entering homes and eating people. For that is what chocolate monsters do. Did you think they ate chocolate? That would just be disgusting.

Soon the attacks were all over the news. A killer was on the loose. Mothers started warning their kids not to follow any trails of chocolate leading into dark alleyways.

They really should have been doing that anyway.

Sadly some forgot to warn their husbands.

A few middle aged drunk men later the chocolate monster had reached a rather formidable size and a strange consistency. You see middle aged drunk men really aren't that good for health, whoever you might be.

The few survivors gave conflicting testimonies. "I was attacked by an Easter bunny!" "I was attacked by a princess!" "I was attacked by a box of fancy squares!" And so on and so forth.

It was a fateful night that the monster crept behind two girls returning home from a pizza place.

The monster lunged at them its gaping maw a horror to behold.

"Aaaabluuughgaaarrrblubblub!" It bubbled.

There comes a point in everyone's life when they come face to face with death and they know that the end is upon them. Some are filled with acceptance of this fact. Most are filled with fear.

It was fear that filled the chocolate monster as the girls bore down upon it, their weapons held aloft, a mad glint in their eyes.

"YUM!" exclaimed the girls as they lunged at the monster with their spoons.

The girls had known the attack was coming. They had sensed the monster come up behind them. "You see," they told the awed authorities later, "chocolate has a very distinctive smell."

The monster had no chance. No chance at all. It had made the mistake of attacking two of the most notorious chocoholics in the city.

Licking her spoon and patting her tummy Ashima exclaimed "That was delicious!"

"Absolutely!" replied Kanika, "But it had a strange consistency!"

They walked home happy and content. They had saved the city from a monster no one else could defeat. And they had fun doing it too. They remain to this day heroes in the eyes of many and a cautionary tale to monsters everywhere. "Don't bite off more than you can chew!" is what they teach their children at an early age.

As they disappeared into the night they failed to notice a tiny voice scream in horror.

"NOOOOOO! NOT MELVIN!" screamed the flower as the sharkfly ate it's friend and vanished into the darkness.